At The End of Things
by EvaYasha
Summary: Its been four years since the quest, and Hakkai is alone. Why? Where did everyone go? And will they come back? 58 39 and all combinations thereof.
1. Where have you gone?

At the End of Things

Eva Yasha

A/N: I couldn't decide which Saiyuki pairing I liked the best, because I feel like there is a bond between the whole group that just shouldn't be broken into pairings, so I decided to do something about it. Here it is, I hope you like it.

â.. is thoughts, just so you know.

Cho Hakkai shivered slightly and stopped sweeping long enough to glance up at the sky. It was a clear, cold blue, showing only a few wisps of cloud in the distance. Thin sunlight poured down across the yard. It was a typical day in early spring, though a bit on the cool side. Hakkai blinked sleepily as a sudden gust of wind sent a cascade of fallen cherry blossoms swirling through his field of vision. He sighed heavily, and looked down at a pile of those same blossoms gathered at his feet, then glanced back down along the walkway behind him; a walkway that had been free of pale pink petals just moments ago. He huffed irritably, he'd have to go back and sweep it again.

It was that time of year again, of balmy days and falling blossoms. Hakkai used to enjoy this time of the year. Not so anymore. He gritted his teeth against the sudden onslaught of memories, sweeping furiously.

Flashback Four Years

The journey into the West finally complete, the members of the Sanzo-ikkou had settled in this remote village in hopes of finding a peaceful life. They lived happily, simply. Hakkai taught at the village school that was nearby during the day, Gojyo drank and gambled at night, Sanzo smoked incessantly and Goku ate them out of house and home. Hakkai had been truly happy, for the first time in many years.

Then, one day in early spring, it all fell apart. Sanzo, who had been growing ever more mysterious, abruptly left the house, vanishing in a swirl of cherry blossoms, never to be heard from again. Without Sanzo, Goku began to lose his appetite, lose sleep, and wilt away. One day he, too, vanished. Hakkai and Gojyo were deeply hurt, but understood the boy's compulsive need to follow "his sun".

So then it was just Hakkai and Gojyo again, just as it had been in the beginning. They had lived that way for another year, making their way through the days trying to ignore the feeling that gaping pieces of their souls were missing.

Until the Sakura bloomed again. Shortly after the appearance of the first blossoms, Gojyo had left in the night. Hakkai woke up the next morning, and he was gone without a trace. There was only an empty bed, littered with the cherry blossoms that floated in through the open window, and a slip of paper that said simply "Wait."

Hakkai came back to himself with a start as the sky abruptly darkened. He looked around in bewilderment as he realized just how much time had passed while he was lost in his memories. A storm was brewing above him, and the first scattered drops of rain were beginning to fall. Cold wind swept down the walkway, flinging cherry blossoms into the air. Spontaneously, Hakkai reached out and snatched a handful of the petals from the air in front of him. He held them before his face, marveling at their perfect velvet softness. Biting his lip against the painful emotions they called forth in him, he brought the petals to his lips, inhaling their subtle scent.

Gojyo.... he thought suddenly, so strongly he could almost hear the hanyou's voice, and smell his scent, like water and sunlight.

Sanzo.....Goku...... Golden eyes, and purple, the crack of a gunshot......

Come back to me.

Unthinkingly, he tossed the handful of petals into the air, watching mesmerized as the wind carried them away into the darkening sky.

Sha Gojyo bolted awake as thunder crashed outside his window. He sat up and looked out the window by the bed, cursing inwardly. It was going to rain again. Gojyo hated the rain. The rain always made him think of the people he most wanted to forget. With a sigh, he cracked the window open, hoping somehow that the fresh air would help clear his mind.

He'd spent the better part of two years in a drunken haze, trying to forget, trying to escape the pain. It was a gnawing ache deep in his soul that he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge. And the dreams...the dreams were the worst. He remembered them only in brief flashes, the pale curve of a delicate hip, the graceful swoop of skin beneath the rib cage, silhouetted in moonlight, firm tan flesh beneath his fingers....but it was the eyes that haunted him. Sorrowful eyes that he could never afterwards remember the color of, only that they may have been purple, or gold, or green.

A particularly cold gust of wind broke him from his thoughts. He passed a hand over his eyes tiredly. Two years, wasted. He'd left Hakkai in their tiny house, hoping to find Sanzo and Goku and bring them back. He'd had no luck, it was as thought they'd vanished from the face of the earth. After six months, Gojyo began to despair, and without Hakkai.....Hakkai to support him and back him up, Hakkai to bolster his failing spirits, Hakkai to ease his aching soul....Gojyo had fallen to drinking. He traveled constantly in an ever tightening spiral around the village where he knew Hakkai was still living, still waiting. Only his stubborn pride had kept him from returning. He didn't want Hakkai to see him like that....truly a drunken sot.

He was better now, and only a few days north of the place he still thought of as home, yet he lingered on in this city, hesitant. He was afraid that after all this time Hakkai wouldn't want him around anymore... He shook his head dismissively and lay back down. It was no use thinking like that.

The rain poured down, lulling him back to sleep.

Gojyo woke the next morning to tepid sunlight falling through the open window. He sat up, rubbing his eyes to clear them of sleep. He reached down to pull away the blankets, and paused, his eyes wide. Cherry petals were scatted across the bed, apparently blown in by the storm.

"But they haven't bloomed yet...." Gojyo murmured to himself.

He looked out the window again. Yup, no blossoms. He got out of bed, still clutching the handful of petals.

"They aren't blooming here yet, but in the south......" he mumbled "Just a few days south....."

He stopped pacing abruptly. "South....."

The answer came to him in a flash. Gojyo smiled, his eyes lightening.

"Alright, Hakkai." he said aloud. "I'm coming home."

Genjo Sanzo twitched, but didn't open his eyes, when he felt a soft brush against his cheek. Then it happened again, and again. He sighed in irritation and opened his eyes, fully prepared to shoot whatever was interrupting his meditation. His eyes widened, and he stifled a gasp. Cherry blossoms were raining down on him from an empty sky. He reached out and let them fall into his cupped palm. As suddenly as they had come, they stopped. Sanzo was left contemplating a palm full of pale pink petals with no hint as to where they came from.

"Oi." he said quietly.

"Sanzo?" Son Goku peered around the edge of the small outdoor shrine where they were resting for the afternoon.

"What do you make of this?" Sanzo asked, holding out the petals.

Goku slowly unfolded his long legs and walked over to Sanzo to get a better look.

"Sakura?" he mumbled, inspecting the petals carefully. "It doesn't grow here."

Sanzo gritted he teeth. "I know that, baka-saru. Yet here it is."

Goku grinned cheerfully, bending down to smell the blossoms sweet scent.

"Ahhh...It's been so long since I smelled....." he trailed off, his smile fading to be replaced by a look of extreme puzzlement. "Hakkai?"

"What?" Sanzo yelped, drawing back.

"No, wait....." Goku grabbed Sanzo's wrist, trapping the hand that held the petals and burying his face in Sanzo's palm. "Yesâits there....faint, but I know that scent anywhere."

"Very well." Sanzo pronounced, standing up and dusting off his robes. "Let's go."

"Eh?" Goku looked up at him in bewilderment. "Go where? I thought....."

"You thought wrong. I'm sick of doing this anyway......"

Goku grinned, comprehension dawning in his eyes. "You mean....."

Sanzo looked down at him, the ghost of a smile dancing around his lips.

"Its time to go home."

Hakkai sneezed violently and paused to rub his nose irritably. He was out on the walk; again, sweeping away the cherry blossoms that had fallen during the night. It had become something of a ritual for him, clearing them away every morning. He abruptly sneezed again, blinking rapidly as his vision blurred in and out. He cursed silently.

Great" he thought Now I'm coming down with somethingâ.

Really, he hadn't felt well for daysâ.

I'll finish sweeping, then go lie down.

Quickly, he swept his way to the end of the walk, but when he turned back to the house, he found that more and more blossoms had fallen onto the path. Sighing tiredly, he started to sweep again.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Gojyo walked slowly down the twisting path to the small house that held so many memories for him with nervousness growing heavier in the pit of his stomach.

He rounded a corner, and felt his breath catch in his throat. Hakkai stood in the yard, barefoot amongst the falling cherry blossoms, with a look of infinite sadness gracing his beautiful face. He was breathtaking, and Gojyo stood transfixed, memorizing the beauty before him, imprinting it on his heart.

Hakkai looked away, and the spell holding Gojyo was broken. He stepped forward just as Hakkai turned away, back toward the house. He took one more step after his friend, opening his mouth to speakâââââ.

Hakkai turned back toward the house, breathing heavily as his stomach churned.

Definitely coming down with somethingâ. the words floated across his mind with a curious sort of detachment.

He took a step, and swayed violently, the broom slipping from his suddenly nerveless fingers. His vision began to fade, and he felt himself fall, some remote part of his brain still working enough to brace him for the impact.

It never came. Hakkai opened his eyes slowly.

Red

It filled his vision. Red hair. Red eyes. There was only one color of red that looked like that. Only one.

"Gojyo....."


	2. A Gojyo and Hakkai moment

At the End of Things

Eva Yasha

A/N For one reason or another, 's system isn't bringing out the little stars and underlines I use to separate the parts of my story, so I apologize for any confusion. I will try to figure something out.

Tremendous thanks to the three people who have reviewed this fic, I'm writing this for you.

Hakkai's eyes fluttered open uncertainly as he slowly regained consciousness. Breathing deeply, he spent the next few moments taking careful stock of how he felt. His muscles felt weak and tremble-ly in a way that told him he'd been in bed for several days. His skin felt gritty and his mouth was terribly dry. Slowly and carefully he sat up and looked around.

His eyes were immediately drawn to the pool of flaming red hair resting on the side of the bed. Gojyo was sitting in the floor beside him, his head and arms resting on the edge of the bed, fast asleep. The late afternoon sun was pouring in the window, highlighting his friend's dark skin with brilliant gold.

_I thought it was a dream_ Hakkai thought to himself, a slow feeling of warmth creeping over him. Hesitantly, he reached out and captured a few of the silken strands between his fingers, marveling at their subdued brilliance.

He looked back down to find Gojyo staring up at him.

"Gojyo...." Hakkai murmured breathlessly, captured in his friend's crimson eyes, drawn further in by the shadows of pain lurking in their fiery depths.

Gojyo frowned and sat up straight, breaking the spell, his hair falling from Hakkai's grasp.

"You shouldn't be up, Hakkai. You had pneumonia, and the doctor says you shouldn't strain yourself."

Hakkai smiled disarmingly. "Maa. Maa, I feel okay."

As if on cue, a sudden spasm of coughing wracked Hakkai's slight frame. Concerned, Gojyo eased up onto the bed to sit next to his friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to support him against the violent spasms.

The coughing eased, and Hakkai looked up at him, his emerald eyes unfocused, and his face flushed with fever.

Gojyo's eyes widened in alarm as he realized how warm his friend really was.

"Shit Hakkai! You're burning up! Let me go get some medicine...."

With that, Gojyo made as though to rise from the bed, only to be stopped by Hakkai clutching at the fabric of his shirt.

He looked down at his friend. The light of the setting sun was streaming in the window, bringing out seldom seen auburn highlights in Hakkai's brown hair, and lightening his eyes to the shade of green amber. Hakkai's ivory skin was glowing, and effect further enhanced by the blush staining his cheeks.

"Gojyo.....I'm so glad.....that you came back."

Gojyo felt something within him stir painfully at the sincerity in his friend's eyes. Smiling softly, he reached out and gently eased Hakkai down onto the pillows.

Placing a soft kiss on Hakkai's forehead, he whispered, "Not as glad as I am."


	3. Sanzo and Goku: Heading Home

At The End Of Things

Eva Yasha

Sanzo and Goku walked slowly eastward, the light of the rising sun stretching their shadows out behind them endlessly. They walked in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Sanzo spared a moment to reflect on that, and how different it was from their journey into the west four years ago. Goku had truly changed in the weeks they had been separated. They'd been back together for the past three years, but to this day, Sanzo wasn't really clear on what exactly had happened to the monkey. Something about memories, and an eternity in heaven.....an eternity Goku had obviously given up.

Goku, ever sensitive to the moods of his caretaker, felt Sanzo's thoughts turning inward and sighed softly, wondering briefly what his sun was brooding on. Giving it up as a lost cause, he turned his face into the wind and took a deep breath, letting contentment wash through his soul. They were going home, back to Gojyo and Hakkai and their little house.

Goku had missed them with a frightening intensity, and with every step eastward they took, he felt as if little pieces of his soul were slowly returning to him. His smiled abruptly, wondering what they would make of him now. The days of the hyper-active, eternally hungry saru were long gone, thanks to the gift of the merciful goddess.

Goku's smile faded as his thoughts turned to the Great Kannon. After he had left Gojyo and Hakkai, he had wandered aimlessly for weeks, on the verge of starvation, searching in vain for Sanzo. Finally, taking pity on the monkey, Kanzeon Bosatsu had appeared before him.

_Goku_, she said, crouching down next to him where he lay collapsed from hunger in the dirt of the street. _Goku, Sanzo is on a mission for me, and he may never return_. Goku's heart clenched painfully as panic overtook him. Kanzeon smiled and reached out for him.

_I can offer you a place in heaven_, she said temptingly. _I can even make you forget about_ _Sanzo so you can be happy there._

Her hand reached toward him, and a golden glow surrounded her, flowing outward to envelope Goku as well. As if in a daze, Goku felt himself reaching out, his fingertips brushing hers.

Deep within his heart, something screamed in pain and fury.

Unthinkingly, Goku snarled and snapped at Kanzeon, flinging himself away from her outstretched hand. The golden glow vanished, and Goku's senses came flooding back to him. He locked his eyes with Kanzeon's and she gasped at what she saw glimmering in their golden depths.

"Heaven's not enough." He said simply, "If Sanzo isn't there."

The merciful goddess smirked. _I thought you might say that_, she said smugly. _Very well_ _then. If your devotion to my nephew is still this strong...._

She reached out and touched his forehead. _Perhaps this will make things a little easier on both of you....._

The next thing Goku knew, he was falling out of the clear blue sky to land smack on top of an infuriated Genjyo Sanzo.

"Goddamn Baka-saru!"

Whack the paper fan came streaking down.

"What the HELL are you doing here!?!"

Whack

_Stop it Konzen. _Kanzeon Bosatsu's voice rang out. _You know you need him._

"Urusai! You old hag!" Sanzo screeched up at the sky, waving his paper fan menacingly.

With a final snarl for the interfering deity, Sanzo turned to Goku.

"Let's go." He growled, and walked away.

It was only much later, Goku mused thoughtfully, when he was sure the Goddess's attention was elsewhere, the Sanzo had pulled his monkey into his arms, and assured him that he was, in his own way, glad to have him along.

After that, Goku seemed even more sensitive to Sanzo's thoughts and moods, and was better able to keep a curb on his hyper-activity and appetite. Sanzo swore it was divine intervention, and they just let it go at that.

Sanzo glanced over at his charge in time to see a wistful smile grace the monkey's face.

"Oi....saru....What are you thinking about?"

Goku looked over at the sun he had followed for so long and smiled.

"Nothing really....I'm just glad to be heading home." His golden eyes shone brightly as he said this, and Sanzo felt a trace of a smile grace his own lips.

"Aa."


	4. In Which there is a Joyfull Reunion

At the End of Things

Eva Yasha

A/N! Tremendous thanks to my reviewers! I love you guys! Pyro-angel, addicted2anime, Katastrophic88, Chou ni Natte, Hegira, Jena, Drac of the Sharp Smiles. I'm sorry for leaving out anyone who's reviewed since I started working on this, I'll try to get you in on the next chapter!

Sanzo and Goku paused uncertainly and the end of the path leading up to Hakkai's little house. It was barely dawn, and down here in the valley, it was still quite dark. Sanzo and Goku had traveled through the night and they were finally home....Goku was practically jumping up and down with impatience.

"Come on Sanzo! What are we waiting for anyway?"

Sanzo's eyebrow twitched in irritation.

"It's not even dawn, baka saru. Do you really want to wake them this early?"

Goku paused, frowning thoughtfully. Closing his eyes, he lifted his face to the cool morning breeze. "No.....They're awake." He said after a few sniffs. "I can smell coffee....and bacon....and eggs...." He opened his eyes and smiled broadly.

Sanzo smirked. His monkey really was useful sometimes.

"Lets go then."

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Gojyo and Hakkai were sitting in the kitchen in an uncomfortable silence. Hakkai, recovered from his illness, had just asked the question Gojyo had been dreading the most.

"Where have you been?"

The pain in his voice had been obvious, and Gojyo heard the unspoken meaning behind the simple question.

_"Why did you leave me behind?"_

Gojyo found himself at a loss. He wanted to tell his friend why he left, but that would lead to uncomfortable questions about where he'd been the past two years, and Gojyo just couldn't bring himself to say "Drunk in a gutter." So he just sat there silently, staring into his coffee cup.

"Gojyo?" Hakkai broke the silence heasitantly.

"I'd rather not talk about it." He muttered.

Hakkai turned away from the oven where he was frying the eggs and bacon for their breakfast with that terrible fake smile plastered on his face.

"Fine, if that's how you feel about it." He said with false cheerfulness that made Gojyo's skin crawl.

Something within him snapped.

"I went to find them." He growled. "You were so sad.....I couldn't take it any more. So I went to bring them home."

Hakkai's green eyes widened in shock.

"Gojyo....."

Gojyo squeezed his eyes shut, his grip on the coffee cup tightening until his knuckles showed white under his skin. Slamming down his cup with enough force to crack it, He stood abruptly.

"I couldn't find them. I looked and looked.....but....I couldn't find them."

"Couldn't find who?" The unexpected voice came from behind him.

Gojyo felt his eyes widen as his heart began to pound. Dimly, he registered the crash as Hakkai dropped the metal spatula he'd been holding onto the hard tile floor. Slowly, he turned, only to find.....

Purple eyes, and gold ones.

Laughing purple and gold eyes.

The monk and the monkey stood in the kitchen doorway, watching the scene with obvious amusement.

"Ne, Sanzo, look at there faces.....you'd think they'd seen a ghost."

Sanzo smirked maliciously.

"You'd almost think they weren't glad to see us...."

That was as far as he got, before they both found themselves under attack from a very irate kappa.

"You idiots! Where the hell have you been!?!"

And then he has hugging them both, holding them in his arms, and Hakkai was there beside them, and everyone was laughing, even Sanzo. And in that single blissful moment, all the pain and loneliness of the past four years vanished, never to return.


End file.
